Have you or a loved one ever been arrested and did not know how to tell a child? Life can be confusing for children at any age, so adding in a loved one’s arrest can make it even more confusing. Any type of change in a child’s life can be significant and stressful. Children understand things differently at different stages in their life. Understanding how a child thinks and reacts at certain ages can help you explain in terms they will comprehend easily.
Toddler: Ages 1-4
Child’s Perception of the Arrest
- Anxious the loved one will be hurt
- Afraid of being separated and losing their protection
- Will want to cling to the loved one to avoid separation
What to Say
- Acknowledge how important the loved one is to the child
- Speak slowly in a low, comforting tone
Preschool: Ages 4-5
Child’s Perception of the Arrest
- Afraid of being separated from loved one and loss of protection
- May cling to loved one in fear of being separated
- Anxious parent will be hurt
- May see a police officer as someone who can help, hurt, or take them away
- May think their behavior or wishes are the reason their loved one was arrested
What to Say
- Speak to the child on their eye level
- Explain basic facts in simple language
- Why the police took away their loved one
- Reassure the child it is not their fault
- Do not make promises you cannot keep
School Age: Ages 6-12
Child’s Perception of the Arrest
- Afraid of being separated from their loved one and loss of protection
- Worrying about issues regarding right and wrong, fairness, and justice
What to Say
- Emphasize that the child did nothing wrong
- If you don’t know the answer to a question, be honest and tell them you do not know but try to find out
Adolescence: Ages 13-18
Child’s Perception of the Arrest
- Fear of being separated from loved one and loss of protection
- Extremely fearful of loved one being hurt
- Possibly express anger toward loved one
What to Say
- De-escalate the situation by allowing the teen to vent their fears and feelings
- Continue to rules and structure to make sure teen feels safe and secure
- Ask teens to help with younger children
Here at Mercy Bail Bonds we want to make sure you or your loved one is able to be at home with the children to help relieve as much anxiety as possible. It is during times like these that children cope best when they are with their loved one who has been arrested. Let us help you do just that. We have many years of experience and are available 24/7. Call us at (727) 856-7775 to get started with the bail bond process and to get you or your loved one home as soon as possible.